Astrologer

I’m an astrologer. I didn’t plan on this happening but it did. About two years ago my girlfriend brought home a book about the north node of the moon and it blew my mind with how much I resonated with it (Astrology for the soul by Jan Spiller). “Wait, how does this book by a dead woman from the 80’s about a theoretical point in the sky I’ve never heard of align with me so deeply?” It fucked me up. I’d ask friends their birthdays and text them paragraphs and screenshots from this book just to see how they felt. 90% were like, “damn ya that matches up.” Whut? I had to learn more. I devoured that book. Then got another book by the same author then another. I learned she practiced a particular field of astrology called evolutionary astrology and I branched out to other authors in the same field like Steven Forrest & Tracy Marks. Each time I thought, “I’ll just read this one book, get my questions answered and move on.” But the more I read the more questions came up and the more I wanted to know. My curiosity was insatiable and anybody who wanted to know even a lil bit about the stars would get a whole earful from me. Eventually I calmed down and realized this shit ain’t for everybody. 20 books later I accidentally started doing readings. My partner was like, “Hey my friend is curious about her chart could you do a reading for her?” I’m like naaah I just do this for fun I don’t know enough to do readings. “Babe you totally do just try it.” *feels insecure* *texts the friend anyway* *does the reading* *feels amazed by how in sync and in tune it all felt* *feels affirmed by feedback* *makes new friend* Whut? Then I did another reading for one of Yvette’s friends and another. By the fifth reading I was sporadically tipped which blew my mind. “Wait there’s value in this to other people? I thought I was just privately nerding out.” I haven’t felt this drawn to a field since…starting stand up 12 years ago…
One night I had a dream where Uranus (modern planet of astrology) visited me in the form of a flying electric eel. (I know I’m getting real woo woo rn but if you read this far, fuck it.) I finally accepted this wasn’t a phase. I stopped telling people, “I’m really into astrology” and started telling friends, “I’m an astrologer.” I did more readings, I started to feel confident in how this was organically falling in place.

Then Covid happened and live comedy stopped. Forced me to step out in the world and offer my services bc shit I wasn’t making money any other way so why not. I offhandedly shared my thoughts about the virus rise in the west during Pisces season in an IG post (Transiting Jupiter was squaring my natal  Mercury that day which basically means the Gas Giant was tapping on my shoulder to get me to share the shit I was learning.)

 

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I’m an astrologer. No I’m not into astrology, I’m an astrologer. I didn’t plan on this happening but it did. Long story short-ish about two years ago my girlfriend brought home a book about the north node of the moon and it blew my mind with how much I resonated with it (Astrology for the soul by Jan Spiller). “Wait, how does this book by a dead woman from the 80’s about a theoretical point in the sky I’ve never heard of align with me so deeply?” Fucked me up. I’d ask friends their birthdays & text them screenshots from this book just to get a gauge. 90% were like, “damn ya that matches up.” Whut? I had to learn more. I devoured that book then got another book by Jan then another. I learned she practiced a particular field of astrology called evolutionary astrology & I branched out to other authors in the same field like Steven Forrest & Tracy Marks. Each time I thought, “I’ll just read this one book, get my questions answered & move on.” 30 books, a ton of classes and a whole bunch of readings later we’re here and I’m posting a 13 minute rant about how symbolic the rise of coronavirus in the west is with Pisces season. Rona is playing all of Pisces greatest hits; sensitivity, illusions, surrender, faith. And I’m asking you if you’ve ever been interested in getting a reading done by an astrologer to hit me up. I’m offering a sale, 45 minute readings for $30. My story’s not unique to me but as a comic who works service industry odd jobs to make ends meet shit just got really real. And so many of us, artists, hospitality workers, hell even athletes, are goin thru it. But one thing I’ve found endlessly fascinating is how astrology can work as a way of calibrating oneself with their own compass. In these foggy times it’s a hell of a tool. And this tool doesn’t give answers per se—there’s no magic 8 ball—but we all have our own true north and diving into your birth chart can be a way of dialoguing with that still voice of intuition. I would be honored to be apart of that conversation with you. DM me if you’re interested. Money back guarantee if you feel unsatisfied. Vote for Bernie

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I’m also in the process of making a documentary about my practice as an astrologer in the middle of a pandemic. We started it before there was a racist pandemic as well so the vibe is more indicative of those “innocent” times. Jennifer Gillenwater is the filmmaker responsible for bringing this to life and we had zero physical contact during the making of this so I took her direction, filmed things myself and sent her clips to edit it all together. The woman I’m doing a reading for in the video is my partner and the only way we could get a reading on film was for me to read her chart in our apartment 😅

 

You can also hear my thoughts on astrology, the enneagram and the world from my appearance on Big Hormone Enneagram podcast.

I’m grateful for how the work I’ve been doing with astrology has actually translated to helping folks get a greater understanding of themselves. It kinda feels like I’m connecting with my Igbo ancestral lineage of oracles and dibias through this Western practice as a distant cousin. Here are some ugly screenshots of testimonials from my services:

 I believe astrology can work as a way of calibrating oneself with their own compass. In these wild ass times it’s a hell of a tool. And this tool doesn’t give answers per se—there’s no magic 8 ball—but we all have our own true north and diving into your birth chart can be a way of dialoguing with that still voice of intuition. I would be honored to be a part of that conversation with you. DM or email me if you’re interested (nakaonwood@gmail.com).

Rates and options:

An hour session is *$120 where we address a question and go over your big 3 placements, and put everything in context of the nodes which fill in the karmic story while also looking at any major transits that may be happening and what areas of life they may be stimulating at the moment. Very conversational in style.
*I have a sliding scale option for this especially for black, POC, queer, activists, artists and/or organizers. Just ask.

 

A 90 min session is $170 and with the additional 30 minutes we can dig into the chart with greater depth, answer more questions and pull up other charts that can help flesh out the transits of the moment like progressions, solar arcs, return charts, etc (Just a fancy way of saying we can include more tools for context on current life happenings in these readings).

I also started doing mini consults at $70 for 35 mins where we laser in on the big 3 placements Sun, Moon, Rising including their rulers or any major aspects and what that says about the overall vibe of the chart. This option’s less conversational and more straightforward.

Each option comes with an audio recording of the reading and a copy of your natal chart.